Swag Never Sleeps: The Art of Swag

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Art of Swag

Today's blog post is a primer on the DOs and DON'Ts of the urban gentleman. Etiquette and manners are not simple trivialities that are reserved for formal meetings and date nights. How you act in your private life and the habits that you cultivate therein will reflect directly in your public life. Therefore, in order to be a more well-rounded gentleman, you should take care to make sure that both of these personas are the same. Remember, swag NEVER sleeps. Rather, a gentleman is not what someone does, it is essentially what someone is.

DO:

Keep cursing in public a minimum. Profanity is the byproduct of an ignorant mind trying to express itself.
Refrain from using pejorative words as terms of endearment. No one of any good sense really wants to be referred to as your N**** or your B****.
Keep a fingernail clipper, nail file, disposable razor, small mirror, brush, and tweezers with you. A little vanity goes a long way.
Say excuse me when you get in someone's way or even if the person gets in your way. Impoliteness on someone else's part is not a license for impoliteness on your part.
Be aware of your body language. People more often than not will listen to the mouth that's not moving.
Say "Excuse me miss" before attempting to court a potential date. A filthy mouth only works on the ladies with filthy intentions.
Listen to different kinds of music, go to art shows, and read design magazines. Having a sense of culture automatically puts you in the preferred position for interviews, networking, and dates.

DON'T

Be arrogant and conceited. The best products don't need to advertise.
Be a player. Use your swag like a laser to pinpoint the eagles instead of broadcasting it widely to attract pigeons.
Feel pressured to be overly masculine. The ones trying too hard to look like men always end up acting like little boys.
Buy Magnums when you can't fit them. Women appreciate honesty and pretending like you're an anaconda rancher when you've only got a garden snake just sets you up for more failure than you're headed for.
Add every person who sends you a friend request on your social networking page. You never know who's reposting the status vent you typed or the drunken photo tag to your next employer.
Hate on the pretty boys. If sagging pants, oversized shirts, cheap graphic-tee knockoffs, and golds was attractive, we would have invented it.
Sleep on your swag. Treat every encounter as if it were a press conference and every sidewalk a runway. You never know who's watching and who's listening.